“Oh what a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive.” True, isn’t it? Deception forces us to weave a “tangled web” to cover our tracks, to make our story believable. Deception is a form of lying. The American College Dictionary defines deceive as, “to mislead by a false appearance or statement.” Synonyms of deceive include “dupe, fool, hoodwink, trick, or betray.” Deception is the conscious perversion of the truth for the purpose of misleading someone. The Bible says that the devil is a deceiver, a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44, Revelation 20:8). Those whose lives are marked by lying and deception are declaring their parentage.

Deceivers make the headlines every day. They perpetrate ponzi schemes on the trusting. They defraud the elderly and naïve to separate them from their money. They make unsubstantiated claims to sell their products. Lest you think that deception only occurs in business, we are all guilty of deceiving one another in our daily lives. We deceive our friends over how much we saved on a particular product or how good a deal we got on it. We bend the truth about our jobs. We put a deceptively “positive spin” on our children, our ministry, our marriages, our failures. It’s almost as though deception is woven into the fabric of American life.

Why am I telling you all this? Because for men dealing with sexual sin deception has become a stronghold which must be broken. These men fear being caught. They fear the consequences. They fear change and so they deceive others to keep from being found out. They are so proficient at deceiving that they come across as totally believable. In the process they have woven tangled webs. Many have deceived their wives, girlfriends, and children; and, upon discovery, have lost all credibility. Remember the Bible verse that says, “. . . be sure your sin will find you out” (Numbers 32:23). Sooner or later deceivers will get caught and the consequences are often severe. How do liars and deceivers change? The road to recovery requires radical truth-telling. As much as they served the devil in their lying and deception, now they must serve the Lord through their honesty and truth-telling.

The National Coalition For Purity and its flagship ministry to men, Every Man’s Battle For Purity, is focused on helping men live lives of radical truth-telling. In the safety and confidentiality of a purity platoon, men are called out on their excuses and deceptive speech. That’s how it should be. That’s real accountability. It’s also real love. Real love cares enough to confront. It cares enough to intervene. It cares enough to challenge the excuses, lies, and deception of a partner, even risking the relationship. In purity platoon men come face to face with real love. In the safety of a purity platoon men are finally called to be honest and let down their barriers. They can start to trust someone with their deepest, darkest secrets.